I should start a website for stuff like this
Lotta fuckin people here. (I’m bored if you can’t tell.)
This is tonight and its sold out players.
From baby food to toilets, Gerber has always serviced things that come from women’s vaginas.
Paul Simon - The Cool, Cool River
from The Rhythm Of The Saints
And these streets
Quiet as a sleeping army
Send their battered dreams to heaven, to heaven
For the mother’s restless son
Who is a witness to, who is a warrior
Who denies his urge to break and run
Who says, “Hard times?
I’m used to them
The speeding planet burns
I’m used to that
My life’s so common it disappears”
And sometimes even music
Cannot substitute for tears
Saturday first show at Crackers downtown.
Probably too close to being “Queef” and “Headbang”
This is what a shitty act looks like written down and spread amongst note cards.
Why Are The Colts So Bad?
Doesn’t it feel like forever ago? When you woke up on Sundays with an expectation? Those were the days, when you could expect the Indianapolis Colts to win no matter who they were playing.
So why are the Colts so bad? For some of you, this question is easy. Yet others are left wondering how the Colts could suddenly appear like an expansion team with the loss of one player.
How could a team that has won 109 times since 2002 look so incapable of winning a single game in 2011? Was the Colts defense always this bad? Had Peyton Manning also been playing linebacker in disguise all these years?
This was, and has been the game plan, folks. It was all built around #18 being healthy. It worked for a long time, but it doesn’t work in his absence.
I could sit here and talk about how porous the defense has looked, how pathetic and beat up the offensive line has been, or how embarrassing the special teams have played. But these things are no different than most of the seasons passed.
Manning hasn’t had a left tackle since Tarik Glenn left after winning a Super Bowl in 2006. The rest of the offensive line has been full of late-round draft picks and undrafted free agents who are undersized and couldn’t run block to save their lives. The Colts’ inability to pick up 3rd-and-1’s in critical situations cost them in more than one postseason. With a quarterback that was able to set protections at the line of scrimmage, they could get away with an inferior line.
Defensively, the Colts sold their soul to the devil. They drafted and installed a system that was meant to perform the best with a lead. Since Tony Dungy installed the “Tampa-2” in 2002, defensive success for the Colts has always been predicated on what type of a pass-rush the front four - namely Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis - could generate. (When is the last time any Colt that wasn’t a defensive lineman recorded a sack?) The idea was that Peyton would score a lot of points while the defense remained conservative dropping 7 into coverage and patiently waiting for the other team to make a mistake.
As for special teams, if you’re not Pat McAfee or Adam Vinatieri, you are and always have been a joke. Special teams cost the Colts a Super Bowl and playoff losses to the Chargers in 2008 and the Jets in 2010.
What we’ve been witnessing since 1998 is arguably the most impressive performance by any one player in the history of the National Football League. In fact, it’s time to throw “arguably” out the window - Manning is undoubtedly the best quarterback in the game, and what better support does this view have than the first four games of this season? No team in history has ever leaned so much on one player as the Colts have leaned on Manning.
If the Colts were a computer, Manning is the motherboard.If the Colts were KFC, Manning is Colonel Sanders.If the Colts were The Beatles, Manning is John AND Paul at the same time.He is more than just the straw that stirs the drink; he’s that the hand that stirs the straw that stirs the drink.
The reason the Colts won so many times is because Manning always gave them a chance to win in the end. His ability to make adjustments during the game kept Indianapolis in the game, even when he played poorly enough to lose. Manning threw six interceptions against the Chargers once, and the Colts still only lost by a missed 21 yard field goal. It’s normal for teams to change their defense to stop great playmakers like Manning, but affecting the opposing teams offensive play-calling? Remember the infamous Fourth-and-2? Bill Belichick, his team leading the game, decided to go for it in his own territory in a desperate not to keep the ball out of Manning’s hands. We all know how that turned out.
After winning the Super Bowl in 2006, the Colts following playoff losses were by 3 points, 4 points, 6 points, 14 points, and 1 point, respectively. Except for the 14 point loss in the Super Bowl, those are all one possession games. What more can you ask for in sports than to know that your team always had a chance in the end?
And yet here we are this year, the Colts 0-5, losing three straight games by one possession. (This, by the way, is way more than I gave them credit for at the beginning of the year. I figured they’d lose every game by 20.)
Colts fans, if there are any of you left, allow me to welcome you to real football, where you don’t always pull out the comeback in the end; where if your defense and special teams play like garbage, the scoreboard reflects this.
Strangely enough, I’ve had more fun watching the games this year than maybe any other year. I used to wake up on Sundays with only the possibility of being disappointed. Now I wake up on Sundays and jump off my couch in excitement after field goals and first-downs.
Please, Peyton, get well soon.
Such a weird
